So yesterday my husband, The Lawyer, and I were sitting in the “intake” room of cardiac rehab, an exercise program designed for patients who have been hospitalized for heart issues. The Lawyer, you see, recently got his 6th coronary stent. And exercise is key to keeping everyone’s arteries clog-free.
Truth be told, I blamed his most recent heart episode on the four croissants he had each morning – with butter, mind you – on our recent trip to Paris. And that was just the start of his dietary lapses in France. In all fairness, though, his diet, for the most part, is excellent. And when you go to Paris, a “mal bouffe,” as they say in French, is not only expected, but practically mandatory. However, in his case, since we don’t actually know what causes his clogs, it’s best for him to avoid foods that him give any pleasure at all. That means that he must stick to what I prepare for him, i.e., A Mediterranean diet with lots of beans (although I fear I might be responsible for giving his excess gas) and never stray.
But it is I who is digressing here. He was handed a “lifestyle” questionnaire to fill out. While he had effortlessly checked all the boxes pertaining to diet and exercise — in his favor — when it came to questions about what causes him the most stress, he put the pen down, looked up at the nurse, and declared, “I brought her with me!” Thanks, Bob!
That being said, while you can avoid eating bad fats and make sure you get your 10k steps in every day, stress, alas, is a part of life. But if we don’t find some way to manage it on a daily basis, it can cause more harm than eating the entire inventory of Taco Bells.
So what do we do? Meditating is good. If you can do it, that is. I can’t. In fact, every time I try to, even for five minutes, all these ridiculous thoughts pop into my head. Like… did I leave a pot of soup on the stove? Or a rib roast in the oven? They are ridiculous because I make neither soup nor roasts. I don’t even eat meat. But my brain goes rogue on me when I try to clear it of all thoughts. A Maharishi even gave me my own personal mantra to focus on instead of what I forgot to buy at Whole Foods. Trouble is, the mantra sounded a lot like “herring,” so every time I said it, I thought of those wonderful little pickled fillets I had in Copenhagen. And I got hungry instead of enlightened.
I’ll make it simple. The easiest stress management technique is simply to take deep breaths. Your breath, you see, is right in front of your nose, and mastering it is a very powerful technique for keeping yourself calm, peaceful, serene and energetically balanced while everyone else is, well, losing it!
Now, we’re not talking shallow breathes just in your upper chest. No! I mean, deep, conscious breathes into your diaphragm. And as you do, focus on something you want to bring into your life – love…balance…peace…compassion…more shoes (did I just say that?). Use this moment to let go of all your stress and tension.
For those acute moments you feel YOU are the one losing it, there’s a solution for that, too. And it’s an easy one. No matter where you are, stop what you are doing and sit quietly. Relax all your muscles. Focus on inhaling and exhaling. Say the word “relax” with every exhale. Twenty-one is the magic number. But even if you can only take three deep breaths, it will calm you down in a moment of intense stress and anxiety. So it doesn’t lead to those awful anxiety attacks. Trust me. I’ve been there. I thought I was having a heart attack — and that wasn’t even scheduled in my Disease of the Day calendar!
And lastly, try practicing gratitude. That helps lower your stress level immensely. There is a Buddhist saying that goes: “We make our own hell by wishing things were different than they are.” So stop doing that. Try to be a little more grateful for you DO have. In fact, ask yourself, instead of what horrors happened to me today, “What did I ENJOY today? What am I GRATEFUL for today? As Dr. Phil told me on my show, “nothing is going to change till you do.” (I assume – hope – that it wasn’t directed at me!) So try to make a few positive changes in your life going forward, breathe deeply, eat more beans, exercise and be more grateful, and I practically guarantee you will look and feel Better Than Before.
