Four easy ways to conquer stress
April is Stress Awareness Month. Shocking, 80% of all adults regularly experience either anxiety or panic attacks—or both—and an equally large number have psychological symptoms caused by stress. I mean, not that we have anything to stress about these days, right? While some people may deal with Covid overload by growing natural yeast for their home-baked sourdough bread, Others compensate with rosé all day, “quarantinis,” or simply indulging themselves with an abundance of burrata. Maybe it’s just that everything happens for a Riesling.
Look, it’s not as if I’m not an anxious person in general. Indeed, I am also always truthful with my readers and listeners, outlining my own psychic struggles, be it hypochondria or an urge to tear out all my hair—or, better yet, my husband’s—when I’m feeling particularly stressed. Annoyingly, my husband is exactly the opposite. He could manage to sleep soundly in a dunking booth. And whenever I feel particularly on edge, he always reminds me to calm down. “Think of yourself as being a pebble in a stream,” he tells me. “And just let the peaceful water wash over you.” Perhaps he should be teaching at a (far away, preferably) Ashram instead of practicing law.
That said, given my personality, I always take advantage of possibilities to interview experts who deal with this type of behavior on a daily basis. And one such person is one of my favorite healers of all, Dr. John McGrail, a renowned clinical hypnotherapist, personal improvement expert and spiritual teacher who has been a frequent guest on my radio show. His advice in a nutshell? “Focus on what you want; choose thoughts that reflect the abundance, health and well-being you desire, and delight in the feeling of control and well being it produces.”
But am I the only nervous Nellie who thinks they are one unfortunate incident away from insanity? Apparently not!! “Years ago,” says McGrail, “most of my clients and students came to me to help them overcome singular issues like an unwanted or unhealthy habit or behavioral pattern such as nail biting, smoking, weight control, or a troublesome fear or phobia like spiders, needles or heights. We all know that chronic stress and anxiety are killers of both our immune systems and our spirits. And now, perhaps like never before in our lifetimes, we need that strength.”
Pandemic notwithstanding, he estimates that about 75-80% of his cases involve chronic anxiety at some level. That means people who are feeling repeatedly stressed, overwhelmed and fearful, going through life in constant, sickening dread and unease often accompanied by a continuous pit in the stomach and or heaviness in the chest. Many apparently also suffer from severe phobias around every day activities like driving on the freeway or flying.
Full-blown anxiety/panic “attacks” are not uncommon, sometimes appearing to occur for no apparent rhyme or reason. And therein lies the basis for a vicious cycle. “An individual’s fear of having an anxiety attack can actually trigger one, a phenomenon called anticipatory anxiety,” he continues. ”Suffice it to say, chronic anxiety is a horrible psycho-somatic and irrational condition whose ultimate cause is feeling out of control in one, many, or even every, aspect of one’s life.”
Dr. McGrail believes that chronic anxiety is becoming endemic in our society. “It is, in large part, a product of our materially-biased, spiritually imbalanced ‘Western’ culture,” he explains. “Our societal tendency to focus almost exclusively on lack and negativity (a phenomenon highly exacerbated through technology and mass-media) and a resulting mass consciousness that creates and projects an aura and energy of gloom and disaster almost 24/7.”
Granted it’s an unpleasant way to live, and it may sound like we may all be doomed, but according to him, there is some very good news here. “Since it is related to the fact that chronic anxiety is psycho-somatic (a physical condition caused by the mind) and, almost always, completely irrational, most if not all of the fears and phobic reactions associated with it—dread, panic, physical weakness—are completely disproportionate to the actual risk involved, which is often little or none.”
Thankfully, a situation irrationally created by the mind can be controlled by reinstating rational thoughts. “We all occasionally entertain irrational thoughts that automatically pop into our heads but that we never act upon. For example, the thought of pushing someone we’re mad at out an open window or jumping or driving off a cliff. We think of these things and then we automatically immediately exert cognitive, rational control and don’t act; in other words, our morals and ethics jump in to restore rationality and control.”
The exact same procedure can be used to destroy anxiety, which is, in effect, our irrational fear of losing control of our lives. “Truthfully, one might need some help from a trained professional, but not necessarily. It’s also doable alone. However, if you do need the help, do yourself a favor and get it! Anxiety can be overcome, and without a lot of medications. It’s your mind, after all. You own it, you control it, and you can learn to drive it where you want it to go.”
So whenever those anxious feeling start creeping up, just remember Dr. McGrail’s four easy techniques on how to overcome them:
1) Stop the Mind: Ask yourself one of these questions, then wait: Where did I come from? What is nothing? What is thought? When you ask yourself a question with no immediate answer, your mind must stop. When it does, you cannot feel any negative feelings. You are once again back in control.
2) Squeeze the Trigger and Breathe: Immediately hold the thumb and forefinger of either hand together, gently but firmly. Focus all your attention on your fingers squeezing together; look at them, feel them, and then say to yourself, (silently or aloud) Stop! Now begin to breathe, slowly and deeply, focusing on the air entering and leaving your body. You will calm down in a very short time. When you do, release the trigger.
3) Slow down & Focus: That feeling of being overwhelmed is often caused by looking at situations in their entirety. It’s like standing at the bottom of a tall, steep mountain and trying to imagine climbing it all at once. It’s easily overwhelming. But if you just start walking one step at a time and only focus on the next step—with an occasional glance at the whole mountain so you stay oriented— pretty soon you’re up at the top looking down. The same can be said for the situations we deal with in life. We can slow down and commit to taking it one step, one choice, one thought at a time that takes us along the path to the end of the situation.
4) Remember TAO: TAO does not refer to the ancient Chinese philosophy (although living according to the Tao would likely help anyone stay very grounded and feeling in control of their lives) It instead refers to the notion that: There are Always Options.
I asked the doctor to expand on what he meant by that. “A classic example can be taken from a phobia I see a lot of with anxious clients — fear of freeway driving. It’s really more about the feeling of loss of control, of being trapped and surrounded in traffic and not having an out, than the speed of freeway driving. What I help them realize is that if they were stuck in traffic and absolutely had to leave their car, they could just get out and walk away. Sure it might anger a lot of folks, but if it were necessary—life and death say— the choice is there.”
So to be Better Than Before any feelings of anxiety, no matter what the situation or cause, just remember TAO! It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks—TAO!
